First Date Conversation Without Desperation
I met a very wise man named Arthur a few weeks ago at our company party. We were celebrating one of our biggest years in history so as you can tell it was a festive blow out.
I had seen Arthur a few times around the office. He is in his late forties, single and fit. Hmmmm…I thought. Why were there three gorgeous women around him for more than two hours at the party? Could he have money? Far from it. Arthur is a mid-level broker so I can assure you his income is much less than half what I earn every year. I needed to know what his secret was. “Arthur,” I laughed throwing my arm around him leading us away from the blonde, brunette and redhead.
“What’s your secret?”
He smiled. “Young man, I suspect you’re wondering why three ladies nearly half my age are clinging to me for hours,” he asked. “There are three things you need to know about first date conversation…”
“First, never, ever talk about yourself in the first five minutes of conversation. Women suspect men are hard-wired for selfishness. It’s true you know. We are one of the most selfish beings on the planet. So my first tip is to focus on their beauty by asking questions. Ones that focus purely on their secret. Demand that she reveal her trick to staying so young-looking. This will cause her to blush and laugh.
Second, and this is vital, tell her a story about something you noticed when you first saw her. Make it curious as if there’s something genuinely sweet about how she looks which as far more provocative than any other woman in the room.
Third, laughter is the only thing that matters. Tell her about a time in your life when you made a big, fat mistake. Make it sound as if you were hoping to impress a woman but realized her beauty made you nervous. The more humility you can express the better. Have a few stories thought through so that you can recite them without trying to impress. Women absolutely adore men who do not take themselves too seriously.”
As Arthur returned to his ladies, I watched him. He made them laugh for what seemed like hours. As the party ended, I noticed he was walking to his car with one of them holding hands. It was obvious to me he knew the exact magic I needed to boost my confidence.