guy and girl on a date

Why Can’t I Get A Girl To Go Out With Me?

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why can’t I get a girl to go out with me?”, you’re not alone.  It happens to every guy at some point in his life–you meet an amazing woman who instantly captures your interest. The only problem is, she doesn’t feel the same way.

You think you’re a ‘great catch’, but she’s indifferent at best, antagonistic at worst. You’ve got great plans for this relationship, but none of them can happen until she agrees to go out with you.

Here’s the bad news–not every woman thinks you’re the man of her dreams. That’s just the honest, realistic truth.

More importantly, no matter how amazing you think she is there’s no way you can make her want to go out with you. In fact, if you’ve asked her more than a few times with no luck, it’s time to move on.  Regardless of how bad you want something to happen it’s not going to, and you risk alienating her further by making a nuisance of yourself.

Let’s look at some common reasons you can’t get a woman to date you.

It’s Not You, It’s Her

It may sound like small consolation if you can’t get a woman to go out with you, but chances are good that her rejection has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her. Men typically react to female disinterest as if it were a binding referendum on their desirability.

The reality is usually that your looks, wealth, sexual prowess, or charm have nothing to do with it. In any case, there’s no one that is ‘universally desirable’ to the opposite sex so even if she is ‘just not attracted to you’ it’s important to not take it personally.

It shouldn’t come as a shock that much of the attraction between men and women comes down to ‘chemistry’. That’s a very ambiguous term for a quality that is almost impossible to quantify.

You’ve no doubt met very attractive and perfectly nice women that just ‘didn’t do it for you’? The same thing works in reverse. Assuming that you’ve got a handle on the basics like hygiene, good manners, etc., if a woman just isn’t interested, it’s probably a lack of chemistry.

Other Reasons She’s Blowing You Off

If her lack of desire isn’t a matter of ‘chemistry deficiency’, there’s any number of other reasons why she won’t go out with you. She may think you’re ‘too nice’ or, in other words, a ‘doormat’. Women find this very unattractive.

You may be trying too hard with her and not picking up on her ‘cues’. No one wants to be with someone that is so ‘into themselves’ that they don’t notice the wants or needs of anyone else.  Alternatively, you may be ‘too transparent’ and she can see right through your romantic overtures and realizes that it’s nothing more than lust or infatuation.

There are still other far more practical reasons that a woman might not be interested in dating. She could have a boyfriend.  She may have just ended a serious relationship and isn’t ready to get back into dating.  She may also have some external work or family stress that’s distracting her.

A woman might also use any of these as an ‘excuse’ to avoid having to tell you that she finds you boring and/or unattractive. The truth is, it could be just about any other reason imaginable, logical or otherwise.

So What Do You Do Now To Get Her To Go Out With You?

The best thing to do is to focus on becoming the best version of you that you possibly can.  One way to do this is to invest in a program like the Girlfriend Activation System (GFAS) which teaches guys how to become the type of man that naturally attracts women, so you can not only get the girl you want to go out with you, but also turn her into a long-term committed girlfriend if that’s the type of relationship you want.  You can learn more about GFAS by clicking here.

The best advice is to keep things in perspective: every man gets the ‘cold shoulder’ at some point in his life. The resilient ones quickly learn that it should have no bearing on their self-worth or optimism for the future.